The Blob

Thursday, March 04, 2004

How to win an election

I don't know about you, but I'm really thankful that Super Tuesday is past us. In my corner of the world, our mailbox inundated daily with utter drivel from two political opponents, each spending an obscene amount of money to defeat each other in the primary election for a state assembly seat in California. As the weeks wore on during the campaign, the mailers, pre-recorded phone calls and other bits of PR became more and more shrill, with each side accusing and smearing the other with crimes against humanity.

Please. We may be dumb, but we're not stupid.

When will these self-important candidates get it through their thick skulls that we understood their lies and BS the first time? Instead, I propose an alternative. If I were to run for office, and I won't (in fact, I would run from office as fast as I could), I would say nothing rotten about my opponent. I would tell the world how great he/she really is. I might even completely agree with their position. That's a recipe for defeat, yes? Not exactly. You see, instead of spending tons of money on mailers, TV, radio and outdoor ads, I would do something a bit different.

I'd simply say: Vote for me and win 5,000 free miles.

I would win in a landslide.

One more thought: Is it me, or did anyone find it odd that McDonald's announced on Super Tuesday that they were going to phase out Super Size items from their menu?

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