A treatise on kittens and substance abuse

I'll cut to the chase: things have gotten ugly in our household. Java, our beloved kitten, has discovered catnip.

This is bad.

For years, Java could have cared less for catnip. Then, one fateful day, something changed. She snapped. Now, she's hopelessly addicted to kitty crack. All she wants to do is play, play, play. Of course, it doesn't help that we enable her worsening addiction. Last night, we stopped at Petsmart on the way home and got her some new toys (typically mice probably made by children in some slave labor factory in China, Myanmar, Smegma or some other country like that - what a comforting thought). We no more than got this mouse-on-a-springy-cord out of the bag than Java was all over it, jumping, flipping, screaming and tearing at it. She had the toy shredded in seconds. Chasing furiously around the house after the toy as we dragged it, you could see her primal hunting instincts brought to the fore. And when she leaped, Java got some serious air time.

Okay, so she loves it. And yes, it's great exercise. Plus, we love hearing her make these Scottish sounds as she yelps in joy and anticipation. The scary part is, she never wants to stop. She'll keep us up all night, begging for more.

Our little Java has become an incurable playaholic. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

By the way: do any of you know of a good 12-step group for addicted kittens?