Java for Governor

If you've been following the news, you might have noticed that California is in turmoil. Governor Gray (Prematurely Gray) Davis, who has about as much charisma and competence as a coathanger, is enjoying an approval rating of 21 percent. A recall election has been declared after a successful petition campaign, and people all over the state are wondering who will run.

Here's the fun part: it costs only $3,500 and 65 signatures to get your name on the ballot. Speculation abounds that Arnold Schwartzenegger might run, along with the usual suspects. Given that, I boldly wish to throw another hat in the ring: Java, the wondercat.

Why Java? Well, why not? She's cute as a button. She has stripes and spots. She doesn't take crap. And wherever she goes, she runs the show. And darn it, people just plain love her.

Hey, we couldn't do much worse. Humans have totally screwed up running the biggest state in the country. So, why not let a cat have a shot at it? Face it: Gray couldn't do a better job.