EXCLUSIVE: Lord of the Rings inside info!

At the risk of getting my butt sued big-time, I'm going to give you the details of the triumphant climax to the upcoming release of the last of the Lord of the Rings movie trilogy, Return of the King. My secret sources have opened the Kimono to let me in on an incredible end, the details of which have been closely guarded until now. Here goes:

Frodo, after struggling with the unbearable weight of the Ring in the previous two movies, finally makes it to the top of Mount Doom. With his last breath, he hurls the Ring into the volcanic pyrotechnics below. But that's not the end of the story. Without warning, The King himself appears! Yes friends, Frodo's selfless act has brought about the return of Elvis, munching on a Krispy Kreme doughnut. You can see a photo of his triumphant return here!

Amazing. Simply amazing!

I'm back!

It's about damned time too. Sorry for my conspicuous absence. For the past several weeks, I've been embroiled in a marathon of work. The days were very long. And I would end up so cooked that I simply lacked the grey matter and energy to write anything but what I had to do for the job.

I'll try to pump out more pulp for my many fans (I think there's about six of you out there). And hopefully, my life won't be quite as hectic as it's been.