The Blob

Friday, July 30, 2004


The wags are at it again. This week's Democratic National Convention is providing a trove of drivel for comedians, for whom the political conventions offer an endless trove of source material. You can find the best bits here. Some of my favorites (drum roll please):

John Edwards gave his speech the other night. He was so good, when he finished, the delegates awarded him $80 million plus punitive damages.

Did you all see Hillary Clinton introduce Bill the other night? It was like the party faithful introducing the party unfaithful.

President Clinton spoke the other night but he did not give the keynote address. Although I do understand he did give a key, a note, and his address to a waitress who was working the concessions stand.

Talking about the incident today, John Kerry would never criticize his wife. When reporters asked why, he said he had over a billion reasons.

Dennis Kucinich also spoke. The side effects of watching him included drowsiness, headache and sexual dysfunction.

Is this a great country or what?

Heavy Metal for half off


A friend turned me on to a good one. Part of the fun of rock 'n roll is not taking anything seriously. So it is with Mini Kiss, a Kiss tribute band, doing a karaoke version of the real thing. The hook: they're midgets.

Yeah, I know. It's sick. But ya gotta love it.

And speaking of tribute bands, my personal favorite is Dread Zeppelin, a Led Zeppelin knock-off. Their music is really very good, as you can tell they're strong rock musicians. Except for one thing: they do Zep in reggae style. Oh, and their lead singer is an Elvis impersonator. Deal with it, okay? Actually, strange though it may sound, the result is hysterically funny and completely entertaining.

I don't know about you, but I sleep better at night knowing that guys like these are out there. In the sick, twisted world we live in, it helps me understand it better.